


Memories and Regrets

by gentlemanadventurer



Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Asexual Character, Bisexual Character, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Multi, Underage Drinking, actually a lot of them, other tags added as needed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2017-06-14
Packaged: 2018-11-13 11:57:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11184639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gentlemanadventurer/pseuds/gentlemanadventurer
Summary: They've made mistakes. They've made good choices. It's all a mixed bag.Various scenes (mostly memories) that didn't make it into Broken Parable. If you're reading both - read that one first.Can be read as an unconnected series of drabbles too. Tags and ships updated as they come up.





	1. The Devil's Nectar

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Broken Parable](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9246839) by [gentlemanadventurer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gentlemanadventurer/pseuds/gentlemanadventurer). 



Jess emerged from the bathroom in her pajamas, face scrubbed clean of makeup. She smeared lotion across her forehead and up her cheeks. "Ugh. That feels so much better. I'm so bad at false eyelashes. They felt like they were going to fall off all fucking night." She shook her head in annoyance, elaborate curls bouncing.

"You just need more practice." Stretching back on her bed, Emily sighed. "That was awesome." She still wore the black velvet dress she'd picked for formal, though her gloves had been thrown across her desk.

"David is a terrible dancer."

"Why are you surprised? You've seen him dance before. He's awful."

Carefully not looking at Em, Jess removed the pins holding up her hair. "Mike was pretty good though."

Emily laughed and held her hands up towards the ceiling, examining them lazily. Jess had thought it seemed kind of pointless for Em to get her nails done when she was going to wear gloves, but Em always did love a good manicure. "Yeah I guess. Not terrible, at least. I don't know. He's nice enough, but the alpha male stuff is kind of annoying. And all that president-model-UN stuff got old really fast."

"Are you going to change?"

The other girl sighed and sat up. "Sure. Get my zipper?"

The blonde was glad Emily's back was turned, so she wouldn't see the flush on her cheeks. She dragged the zipper down smoothly, trying not to look at the smooth expanse of Emily's back that was revealed. You weren't supposed to think about your friend's skin, or want to touch her hair as much as Jess did. She had seen Emily in varying stages of undress countless times, but somehow it was being this close to her face, her hair that felt voyeuristic. She bit her lip and backed up several steps. "There."

"Thanks." Em wiggled out of her dress and padded barefoot across the room to drape it across the back of her chair. She bent down and retrieved a bottle of tequila from the bottom desk drawer. "Time for the real party!"

Jess flopped onto the bed on her stomach and grabbed the remote. "I'm pretty sure traditional after-dance parties involve more people. And more loud music and high heels and drugs probably."

"Hmph." Emily pulled an over-large nightshirt over her head and yanked on a thick pair of socks. "Maybe for stupid people. I have homework to do tomorrow. If I'm going to possibly be hungover, I at least want to be comfortable and not dealing with the after-effects of some idiot who turned up the bass on his speakers to an insane level."

"I think most people just call him 'Eric' these days."

"Whatever. Moron doesn't know how to actually set up his sound system."

"And you do? I didn't know you were such an expert on the proper balancing of speakers," Jess teased, paging through channels. "Besides, you should just blow off your homework, like any self-respecting teenager. What do you want to watch?"

"Something I've seen."

"Ooh! Let's find something we can play a drinking game to." Anticipating Emily's scoff, Jess batted her eyes at the girl, pouting as pitifully as she could.

"You know that doesn't work on me."

She pouted harder.

Emily groaned. "Okay, _fine_." She climbed onto the bed next to Jess, nudging her with her hip until she scooted over. The cap of the tequila bottle clicked as she broke its seal and the smell of alcohol washed over them. Pointing at the guide on the screen, she smirked. "That one, then."

"Seriously?"

"Serious as a heart attack. Do it."

Jess selected the movie. _The Breakfast Club_ was a few minutes in, the kids sitting at their respective tables in the library while the principal laid out the rules for detention. "Okay. Drinking rules then. Um… every time you want Molly Ringwald's clothes."

"She only wears the one outfit."

"Yep! And I know you want it." Jess grinned at Emily. "So drink."

Rolling her eyes, Emily took a swig. "We need actual rules. Not just rules you invent to cheat and get a head start. How about… every time someone says 'fuck you'?"

"Or flips someone off!"

"Or Ally Sheedy does something super weird."

"Or they talk about how popular Molly is!" Jess announced triumphantly.

"We're going to get alcohol poisoning," Em said flatly.

Jess giggled. "Isn't that kind of the point of a drinking game? Come on… you didn't want to go _out_ to a party, so we need to make our own fun."

"Fine. I want popcorn, then."

"With M&Ms?" Jess asked, batting her eyes once more.

"You do that way too often," Emily told her sharply, then smiled. "Yeah, of course. Give me a minute."

Hopping off the bed, Emily opened the door and slipped out into the hall. Distantly, Jess could hear another television going. There was a murmur of voices as Emily talked to someone. Jessica watched the movie, taking a drink from the bottle, then another as they mocked Molly Ringwald's popularity. The alcohol burned its way down her throat to settle warmly in her belly. The dance hadn't been as bad as she'd expected. True to her word, Emily had only really clung to Mike until the pictures were taken. They'd spent most of the night dancing, enjoying the flashing, multi-colored lights and the dizzying press of people all around.

Jess was only half-focused on the movie. She'd seen it at least three times and could recite bits from memory. Truth be told, she was a sucker for a romance, especially those 80s movies. If someone held a boombox outside her window, she'd probably swoon. Her head felt heavy, her hair still caught up in its up-do, and she nodded from side to side, enjoying its weight.

After a few minutes, Emily was back, holding a large metal bowl in one arm and a bag of candy in the other. She threw the candy at Jess, who tried to catch it and missed. It hit her in the shoulder and she yelped with mock-pain.

"Oh shut up. You're fine." Emily kicked the door shut with her foot and settled back onto the bed. "What'd I miss?"

"You're behind by two drinks." As she spoke, Judd Nelson shouted 'fuck you' at the principal and Jess took another drink. "Three."

Em took the bottle and three sips in quick succession, making a face. "Gross," she muttered, giving the bottle a dirty look. "Why are we drinking this shit?"

"Because it's all you could get your hands on easily." Jess snagged the bottle back to keep up with the film. "The moral of this movie is 'adults are assholes.' What a great lesson to teach us kids. Now I know that authority figures are not to be trusted. Boom. Life lesson."

They settled into their snack and booze, dumping the M&Ms into the popcorn. It dawned on Jess for the first time that it really wasn't a very fun or lighthearted movie. Actually, a lot of it was really depressing. They watched the principal verbally abusing Judd Nelson in silence, then each girl took a long pull off the bottle. Jess could feel the alcohol buzzing in her veins and stretched, smiling as her aching muscles loosened slightly. The kids gathered on the balcony to smoke pot and she relaxed again. This part was better, more what she'd liked about the movie.

"I am so popular—everyone loves me so much at this school," Molly Ringwald said, laughing, and Emily elbowed Jess. "Drink every time a character says something you've said in real life."

"I was _quoting_ this movie," Jess told her primly, nose in the air.

"You were not! You were drunk—you were _not_ thinking about _The Breakfast Club_. Or if you were, you were still totally serious. Miss Homecoming Queen. Little miss everyone-loves-me." Emily was slurring her words slightly, the thoughts running together in her mouth the way they always did when she got a little tipsy. It was like her brain moved too fast for her mouth and was struggling to keep up.

Jess finally tugged the tie from her hair and flung it across the room. Her hair fell around her face in awkward curls, still shaped by the heavy layer of gel and hairspray she'd used. She giggled and blew at her hair, trying to get it out of her face without using her hands, since she was still holding the bottle. "I never said that everyone loved me."

"They do though."

She glanced over at Emily, but the other girl's eyes were fixed on the television. Ally Sheedy dumped her bag out on the couch and Jess took a drink. Em took the bottle without looking at her and took a much larger swallow than she needed to. "No, they don't," Jess said.

"Yeah they do. Everyone loves you. You're lucky."

Jess's brain faltered. Em was still watching the movie, or at least her eyes were pointed that way. She took another drink, unprompted by the game. The blonde cast around for something to say. "But people love you."

Emily snorted. "People defer to me. 'Cause I'm a bitch and I'm in charge. People love _you_."

"Stop saying that. People love you, Em."

"No, they don't. It's fine. I don't need them to. It doesn't matter." Emily tossed her head, her hair flipping back over her shoulder with casual grace. She still had her makeup on from the dance, the dark liner making her eyes seem even sharper, more piercing. "It's why I keep you around, after all." She smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. On the screen, the kids were fighting again, some of them crying. "You know, this movie is less fun than I remember it being."

The nerdy kid swore at the group twice and each of the girls took two sips. Jess leaned forward and set the bottle on the ground. She rolled sideways, tipping into Emily and letting her head rest on her shoulder. Em huffed in annoyance, but Jess just laughed. "Right? I was just thinking that. I feel like I remember more, like, dancing and making out and stuff." She stared up at the ceiling of Emily's room. The lights were still on. She waved a hand at them and told them, in her bossiest possible voice: "Turn off now."

It didn't work. She shoved herself up off the bed and skipped around the room, switching off all the lights. As if on cue, the kids turned on music and started to dance. Jessica giggled and flopped back down, falling across Emily's back. "Better already!"

"Ugh! Bitch, get off!" Em laughed and shoved at her, nearly upending the bowl of popcorn.

Jess rolled to the side, until she was next to Emily again. The room seemed softer, somehow, though whether that was the new lighting or the alcohol, she wasn't sure. She looked up at her friend and reached up to brush a lock of Em's hair out of her face and tuck it behind her ear. "People love you," she said again. She wished she could make Emily see that. Yeah, she was kind of a bitch and she certainly wasn't the friendliest person, but she was loved. Not as universally as Jess, or Mike, or even Matt, but still.

"Psh. You're just biased because _you_ love me," Emily muttered, dismissively.

"Yeah," Jess said quietly. "Yeah, I do."

Em looked down at her, brow furrowing. Suddenly utterly sure she was doing the right thing, Jess lifted her head, leaning up to press her lips to Emily's. The other girl froze for a minute, then softened. Her lips parted with a soft sound that was almost a sigh. Em tasted like tequila and chocolate, all shaped by the distinctive scent of her perfume. Jess lifted her hand, slipping along Em's shoulder to slide into her hair.

At the additional contact, Emily froze, pulling back slightly. In the light of the television, she looked otherworldly to Jess, white light catching the curve of her cheek and throwing every line of her face into sharp relief. She looked so beautiful and bewildered that it made Jess want to cry. She bit her lip, holding her breath, waiting. Hoping.

Emily moved as if she wasn't sure what to do, slowly bending her head towards Jess. The kiss was no less sweet for being their second, and Em melted into her, the movie forgotten. Jess had kissed before—hell, she'd done a lot more than that—but the knowledge that it was Emily was overwhelming.

They'd been friends for so long, that when something had shifted, she almost hadn't realized it. Until one day she was watching her beautiful, brilliant best friend and wanting more. God, when had it happened? When had things changed? On the screen, Judd Nelson smiling at Molly Ringwald. "Remember how you said your parents use you to get back at each other? Wouldn't I be _outstanding_ in that capacity?"

Em broke away again, laughing softly. She let her head fall to rest against Jess's shoulder. "What are we doing? I… um… drunk. We're drunk. We should stop."

"Do you want to stop?"

"No." Emily kissed her again, gently. "But we should, right?"

Jess smiled impishly at her. "I guess there is still some popcorn left. And I wouldn't want to miss the end of the movie."

They fell asleep in each other's arms, Emily's head tucked under Jess's chin. It was the warmest and safest Jessica had ever felt, surrounded by blankets and Em's perfume. And so, of course, in the harsh light of a hung-over morning it would all fall apart.


	2. Wingman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since it hasn't come up much in Broken Parable, here's some Matt headcanon I have.

With a grunt of exertion, Mike hauled himself up onto the ledge next to Matt. "Dude—only you—would want—to hang out—somewhere—like this," he panted, collapsing on the rock face.

"It's cool and you know it. Don't be a wuss. Just because I'm better at climbing than you doesn't mean you have to be so bitter." Matt grinned at his friend and leaned back on his elbows. "I figured it'd be fun to come out here. Like old times."

It was gorgeous, Mike had to admit. Centuries of earthquakes and very specific weather had driven huge jutting pieces of rock nearly vertically out of the ground. It was odd being here, when you could recognize it from countless movies. Vasquez Rocks was always an alien planet or a fantasy desert. You weren't supposed to be there after dark, but they didn't really enforce that too much. How could they? It was huge and hard enough to navigate during the day. No way cops were going to waste their time wandering around it with flashlights unless something big was clearly happening.

The two teens had scaled one of the steep rock faces and were perched on a sandy ledge, their feet dangling over a drop-off. Matt pulled a six-pack from his backpack and popped the tab on one. Mike grabbed another. "Here's to breaking the law on multiple fronts," Mike said with a grin. They tapped their cans together.

They sat in silence for a while, enjoying the slight breeze and cool night air. The moon was only a tiny sliver cut against the dark sky. The ambient light from the nearby city kept things from getting truly dark, but the stars were still more visible here than anywhere closer to home.

"So… Jess, huh?"

Mike snorted and pulled another beer free of its plastic. "You heard?"

"Yeah. From both her and Emily, separately. They had… different takes on the situation." Matt popped the tab on another drink, shoving the empty can into his bag. "What were you thinking? Do you have a death wish or something?"

"Nah. I'm just that young and stupid, I guess." He sighed and took a long pull off his beer. "Honestly, I don't know what I was thinking. I like Jess though. Like, I do honestly like her. She's fun and doesn't take things too seriously. I think she's trying to piss off Em more than anything else."

"Uh... yeah, she definitely is. 100%. And that's going to end well for you because…?"

"I don't know. I think with some time, it'll be fine. It's not like Jess and I are going to get married. She's romantic and ridiculous and, you know, crazy hot, but without taking any of it too seriously. Just, after graduation, with Em going to a different school… I don't know. Em and I weren't even that serious anyway. It's not a big deal."

Matt raised his eyebrows. "Wow. You are, like, _intensely_ dense sometimes. One of the girls steals you from the other? Definitely not a big deal. At all. Happens every day and never ends badly."

"Whatever. It's going to be fine."

Matt shrugged out of his Letterman jacket and tossed it to the rock beside him. Even at night, it was warm enough to be okay in just a t-shirt. Mike himself was only wearing a thin thermal that was more for show than warmth. His Mom had called it 'Runway Camping Fashion' and laughed at him when she saw it. Matt's voice was quiet and contemplative. "I would have thought that after everything with Hannah, playing around would be the last thing you'd want to do.

"Wow." 

Silence reigned supreme. 

Finally, Matt fidgeted and forced a laugh. "Sorry. That was a pretty douche-y way to say that."

"You think?" Mike drained his beer and shoved the can into the bag. "I don't—can we not talk about that? So who's the lady you've got your eye on?" Mike grinned at him. "Or gentleman. I'm not one to judge. You've just been celibate for so long. You must be all kinds of pent up."

With a more genuine laugh, Matt took another drink. He stared out at the jagged rock formations for a long moment, then sighed. "I'm just not really interested in anyone."

"Really? No one?"

"Nope. Not sure I ever really have been, actually."

"You're a damn liar."

Cuffing Mike on the shoulder, Matt frowned at him. "I'm trying to be serious, man. I just… never really wanted that. I like hanging out with people, like you and Em and Jess and Dave. And it's fun to go on dates and all. But why does there have to be more to it? Why do I have to want to have sex and stuff?"

Mike raised his hands in defeat. "Okay, fine. Sorry. I wasn't trying to be a dick. It's just that sex is awesome, so I didn't think… if it's not your cup of tea, that's totally fine." He grinned again and winked, tossing back the rest of the beer. "More for me, yeah? You can wingman me."

"You're dating Jess. Calm down."

"You know what I meant."

Matt kicked him lightly and laughed. "Yeah, yeah. Whatever."


End file.
